Rajesh Hamal Facts and Jokes: 2011

Rajesh Hamal is proffesor of flirtology...

Yesterday when Rajesh Hamal dai was doing nothing, he got a phone call.

Trin. Trin..

Girl: Hello Dear
Dai: oh dear sweetie भन

Girl: कहाँ छौ यार् तिमी ? बिहानदेखि अत्तोपत्तो छैन तिम्रो !
Dai: अरे म त तिम्रै आँखामा हराएको छु !

Girl: अहिले के गर्दैछौ तिमी ?
Dai: तिम्रै फोटो हेर्दैछु, अरु कतै मनै लाग्दैन !

Girl: मैले त तिमीलाई आफ्नो फोटो नै दिएकी छैन !
Dai: अरे मेरो हृदयमा छापिएको छ तिम्रो फोटो त वर्षौंदेखि !

Girl: वर्षौं ? तर तिमीसँग भेट भएको त १ हप्ता मात्र भा'छ !
Dai: तिमीबिना एक पल पनि वर्षौं समान छ पिंकी !

Girl: पिंकी ? यो पिंकी भनेको को हो ? म त दिव्या हुँ !
Dai: देख्यौ तिमी सँग कुरा गर्दा सब बिर्सिन्छु !

Girl: तिमी प्रशान्त नै हो नि ?
Dai: घरमा त राजेश भन्छन् तर उनीहरू गलत हुनसक्छन् तिमी होइन !

Girl: यो 9841...... यो तिम्रै नम्बर हो नि होइन ?
Dai: हुन त थिएन तर अबदेखि हो !

*Tesai le ta Rajesh dai lai 'flirtology' ko professor bhanchhan ni. lol*

राजेश हमालको आशिर्बाद बिना टिक्न गाह्रो छ

हजुरको आशिर्बाद पाए मैले पनी २-४ ओटा फिलिममा अनुहार देखाउन पाउथे:

टि.भि. कार्यक्रम

राजेश हमाल : थाहा छ आज टि.भि. मा विस्व कार्यक्रममा ३० फिटको सर्प देखाउदै छ नि ।
भुवन के सी : ए हो ! तर मैले त हेर्नै पाउदिन ।
राजेश हमाल : किन नि ?
भुवन के सी : मेरो टिभी २१ इन्चको मात्र छ तेसैले

Sir Issac Newton and Rajesh Hamal

When Rajesh Dai was in 7th class, one day his science teacher was teaching Newton's laws of motion. Just then teacher called him and asked to explain the chapter to whole class as he was creating noise.

To his surprise, Rajesh Dai explained everything perfectly.Teacher asked: "Oye Rajesh, taile kaile padis yo? Kasari ayo?"

Rajesh Dai: "La, Newton ko tauko ma apple khasalne ta ma, malai thaha hudaina ta?"

सन्नी देवललाई राजेश दाइको गाली

बलिउडको सन्नी देवलले भारतिय फिल्ममा सँधै धाई (डेड) किलोको हात.. भनेर सबैलाई थर्काउँदो रैछ्। जब राजेश दाइलाई थाहा भयो, दाईलाई बाठो रिस उठेछ अनी राजेश दाईले नेपालबाटै "हे..ऽऽ..........ऽ सन्नी " भनेर मात्र के देको त सन्नी बिचरा फिल्म लाइन नै छोडेर भागेछ। त्यहि भएर आज-भोली त्यसको फिलिम आउँदैन्, कता-कती आये पनी त्यो डाइलोग (dialogue) बोल्दैन, फलामको हात सम्झेर बचरोलाई लास्टै डर लाग्छ !!
rajesh hamal funny facts jokes new laugh
Submitted By: Saroj Chhetri in our facebook page!

Hamaleria disease and Rajasthan

Once Rajesh Hamal was bitten by a mosquito. The mosquito died after 3 days with a flu called "Hamaleria".
Bill Gates: Now my computer is totally safe from trojans and viruses, I just installed Rajesh-Hamal-Antvirus software in my system.
Once Rajesh dai was on world tour! On the way he stopped to a part of India n stayed there for one night! Indians became proud and to honour him they named the place RAJESTHAN!!(rajes sthan)! [By: Bikash Pahari ]
Superman once got into a fight with Rajesh Hamal. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
Rajesh dai ko best sab vanda mann parne fruit "Dalle Khursani" ho.
Rajesh Hamal doesn't Tweet on Twitter, he roars.

History of Ashes Cricket Series

एकपटक राजेश दाई बेलायत घुम्न गएका बेला अष्ट्रेलिया र बेलायतको क्रिकेट म्याच चलिरहेको थियो। राजेश दाई क्रिकेट हेर्न जानुभयो। ग्राउण्डको छेउमा बसेर चुरोट तान्दै क्रिकेट हेर्दै गर्दा राजेश दाईले खाएको चुरोटको खरानीले ग्राउण्ड भरियो र म्याच रोकियो। राजेश दाईको चुरोटको खरानीको नामबाट आजसम्म पनि अष्ट्रेलिया र बेलायत Ashes सिरिज खेलिरहेछन्।
Originally By: Ananta Koirala

Original Sholay in Nepal

पहिला, शोले फिल्म नेपालमा बनाउने पुरा सुटिङ चलेको थियो। हाम्रा राजेश दाई चाहिँ ठाकुर बन्नु भाको थियो। फिल्ममा गब्बरले आएर, "यो हात मलाई दि-बक्सयोस ठाकुर साप" भनेछ।
राजेश दाई: "हे..... गब्बरे, अति गरिस यार मुला... सक्छस भने लैजा, तर चाँडै फिर्ता ल्याईदे।"
गब्बरको मान्छेहरु राजेश हमालको हात सकि नसकी काट्न खोजेछन् तर कहाँ सक्नु बिचराहरु, राजेश दाइको फलामको हात जो थियो! केहि नलागेपछि धातुको काम गर्ने मान्छे (कामी) को ठाउँ बाट फलाम काट्ने मसिन ल्याएर काट्ने प्रयास गरेछन् । राजेश दाइलाई त्यो मसिनको आवाज मन परेन्छ । राजेश दाइको रिस त सबैलाइ थाहा छदै छ नी - दाइले रिसको झोकमा "सङकर हो मेरो नाम सङकर" भन्दै सबलाई मुला काटे जस्तो काट्दिनुभएछ। बिचरा डाइरेक्टरले नेपालमा फिल्म बनाउन सकिएन अब फोहरी भारतमै भए पनी बानाउन पर्यो भनेर गएछ् ।

Ukhan Tukka

‎Time and tides wait for Rajesh Hamal.
Rajesh dai hatkela le surya chekna saknuhuncha.
Taal parepani Rajesh dai Hamal,naparepani Hamal.
Rajesh dai naya kithab padchan ani nayai kapada lauchan.
Rajesh dai Rome gaye pani aafnai style follow garchan.
Rajesh dai ghoda pani chadchan ani laddha pani laddhainan.
Rajesh dai hoinan chor, tara pani unkai cha sabse thulo swor.
Rajesh dai le euta kukur ko puchar 12 barsha dhumro ma rakhera sojo banaunu vayo.
Rajesh dai ko lagi bandar ko puchar lauro pani ho hatiyar pani ho.
Rajesh dai raat vari karaunu vayo vane dakchina hoina, dusman haru harauchan.
Rajesh dai ko kam jata tira, kumlo boki director pani tetai tira
Hissa Bhuwan KC, khissa daat
Rajesh dai ko kapal, ankha tari mal

पृथ्वीनारायण शाह को मूर्ती

राजेश हमाल ले स्कूल पढ्दा पृथ्वीनारायण शाहले पाल्पा कब्जा गरेको पढेर लाटो रिस उठेछ । अनि पृथ्वीनारायण शाहको हात बाँधेर बसेको मूर्ती अगाडि गएर, "हेऽऽऽ मेरो जन्मभूमिमा तैँले कसरी हात हाल्न सकिस, चिन्छस् म को हुँ ?" भनेर थर्काउँदा, पृथ्वीनारायण शाहले लुतुक्क आकाश तिर देखाउँदै "भगवान" भन्या थे - चट्याङ् परेर त्यो मूर्ति तेस्तै भयो । नपत्याए राजेश हमालको चट्याङ् भन्ने फिलिम हेरे हुन्छ । त्रुत!

Rajesh Hamal facts about politics

Rajesh Hamal can write Nepal's sambidhan / constitution in 601 seconds!
Rajesh Hamal used to be the president of the Kingdom of Nepal untill 2007. Now, he is the King of Republic of Nepal.
Once Rajesh dai went for a jogging from east to the west of Nepal. The path he jogged randomly is today known as "Mahendra Highway".
Rajesh Hamal is the only leader who ruled Nepal for more than 100 years.
When Rajesh dai flushes his toilet, there is always a danger of flooding in India.
Long ago Rajesh dai came out in a protest against the Ranas. During protest, he couldnt control his temper and punched 19-stoyered Dharara with his "falamko haat". That was when Dharara lost ten floors.

Incredible Facts about Rajesh Hamal

Once Rajesh dai broke up with his girlfriend. He went to the pacific desert and cried a lot. And now we have the Pacific ocean.
Rajesh dai woke up one day and decided he would share one per cent of his knowledge with the world. Thus, Google was born!
Rajesh dai can ignite fire by rubbing two ice cubes.
Once time challenged Rajesh dai for a race, and the fact is that time is still running.
Rajesh dai doesnt use any Gillette or Sillette to shave his beards. He just shoots every single hair piece with an AK-47.
Rajesh dai was once pulled over by a policeman for over speeding. Rajesh dai gave him a warning.
Rajesh dai doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Rajesh dai.
When scientists couldn't find out the taste of sulphuric acid, they asked Rajesh dai to taste it.
Rajesh dai can update his facebook status through his calculator.
When Zuckerberg made facebook and made his account, there was already a friend request from Rajesh Hamal.
There is no backspace in Rajesh Hamal's keyboard.
Only Rajesh dai can delete the Recycle Bin.
Once Rajesh dai went to Switzerland and forgot his wallet over there. The house where he left his wallet is known today as "Swiss Bank".
Once Rajesh dai caught a slight fever, it is known to be the global warming of earth.
When Rajesh dai crosses street, the cars have to look both ways.
Rajesh Hamal can kill two stones with a bird.
Nothing can travel faster than light; except Rajesh dai.
Rajesh Hamal doesnt like dinosaures, thats why they do not exist.
Rajesh dai can beat a wall at tennis.
The theory of relativitity states that everything is related to Rajesh Hamal's mood.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have entered a world with Rajesh Hamal.
Rajesh dai has counted upto infinity ! TWICE !!
Rajesh Hamal's keyboard doesn't have a CTRL button. Rajesh dai is always in control.
Chuck Norris is very much fond of Rajesh Hamal movies.
Ganga jal is believed to be pure. It flows through Rajesh dai's wonderful hair.
Rajesh dai sneezes and he blesses you.
Rajesh Hamal killed the dead sea.
The Titanic did not hit an icerberg. It hit Rajesh dai who was out for a late night swim.
Rajesh Hamal will never have a heart-attack. No one dares to attack Rajesh Hamal.

funny facts jokes of about Rajesh Hamal

राजेश दाइको फाम

राजेश दाईको फार्महाउसमा (farmhourse) सबै कुखुराले दिनमा एउटा अण्डा दिँदो रैछन् । राजेश दाईलाइ यो कुरा अली मन परेन्छ! राजेश दाइले चिचाउँदै थर्काएर भनेछ्न् - "हे.............. अब देखि दिनको २टा अण्डा दिने, नत्र.... : @"
भोलीबाट सबले २टा दिन थालेछन्,
...
...
एउटाले बाहेक !
........
........
राजेश दाइले त्यसलाइ एकान्तमा बोलाएर फेरि थर्काउदै सो्ध्नुभएछ: "हे...... तँलाई म देखी डर लाग्दैन? तेरो यत्रो दुष-षाहस?"
कुखुरो: "माफ पाउँ दादा, डर लागेर त एउटा भएनी दिइराको, नत्र वास्तबमा म त भाले पो"

Submitted By: Pawan Bhurtel

राजेश दाइका सत्य तथ्य हरु

राजेश दाइले १ रोपनि जग्गा किन्नु भएछ, ४ वटा इनार खन्नु भएछ, किन भन्दा राजेश दाइले भन्नु भएछ, क्यारिमबोर्ड नखेलेको पनि धेरै भैसक्यो ।
राजेश हमालले चिच्याउदा हल भत्किने डरले बिदेशीहरुले राजेश दाईको फिल्म आफ्नो हलमा देखाउने हिम्मत गर्न सक्दैनन्।
अगुल्टो ले हानेको कुकुर आगो देखेर तर्से जस्तै, राजेश दाइले कुटेको मान्छे फलाम देखेर तर्सिन्छ !!
बलिउडकी मुन्नी बद्नाम हुनुमा राजेश दाईको हात छैन!
राजेशले कहिलेपनी लेख्दा tip-ex अथवा eraser प्रयोग गर्दैनन किनकी राजेशले जे लेख्छन त्यो नै १००% सहि हुन्छ, मेट्नु जरुरी छैन ।

कुखुरी काँ

कुखुरी काँ, बासी भात खाँ
खोई बासि भात? बिरालिले खायो
खोई बिरालि? मुसो मार्न गयो,
खाई मुसो? दुलो भित्र पस्यो,
खोई दुलो? रज्निकान्त्को घरमा छ,
खोई रज्निकान्त् ?
रज्निकान्त् र रज्निकान्तको घर त राजेश दाईले उहिले ध्वस्त बनाईदिनुभाको !!
ज्या ..

The Big Bang Theory

We all know how our universe was created, it was from a Big Bang. But you know how Big bang occured? Thats when Rajes dai screamed "Heeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

Rajesh Hamal once tortured pain.

Rajesh dai has never obtained the percentage that he wanted to achive in SLC eams. He always ends up obtaining 99.99%.

During his exam Rajesh dai wrote continuously for 3 hours, today his answer sheets are published in internet as wikipedia.

Once Rajesh dai was bitten by a snake. Three days late, the snake died.

The password of Rajesh dai's facebook account has 99 million characters.

His Majesty Rajesh Hamal

Facts about Rajesh dai

There is no theory of evolutoin, just a list of creatures Rajesh Hamal allows to live.
Rajesh Hamal climbed Everest bare footed! TWICE
All the computer viruses started when Rajesh dai once sneezed infront of his computer.
Rajesh Hamal can speak Chinese .. in Russian and 3 other languages.
Rajesh Hamal has a blood pressure reading of zero over zero. Rajesh dai has never felt any pressure.
Only Rajesh Hamal is allowed to fire Bill Gates from Microsoft.
Rajesh Hamal heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Don't give Rajesh dai a hi-five unless you're ok with loosing your arm.
Guns don't kill people, Rajesh Hamal does.
Rajesh Hamal can walk uphill both ways.
Rajesh Hamal sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
If Rajesh dai = 1, then 1>2. Nothing can be greater than Rajesh dai.
Once Rajesh Hamal poked Zuckerberg in facebook. As a result, Zuckerberg was hospitalized.
Rajesh Hamal doesn't believe in ghosts. But ghosts do beleive in Rajesh dai.
Aliens are real, they are just afraid of Rajesh Hamal - that's why they never came down to earth.
The tears of Rajesh Hamal can cure cancer. Just a pity, Rajesh Hamal never cries.
Several years ago, moon used to be randomly elleptical. Rajesh dai made it round.
When Rajesh dai plays Chess, elephants are brought from Jawalakhel, camels from S. Arabia, horses from India.
Even Yamraj fears of Rajesh Hamal's irony hand "Falamko Haat".
Only Rajesh Hamal can make onions cry.
Ghosts get frequently haunted by Rajesh Hamal.
Rajesh dai is so cool, even chocolates do not melt in his hand.
Once Rajesh dai played tennis against Federrer and Nadal together, still Rajesh dai won the match just with his left falamko haat.
Whenever Rajesh dai sneezes, it is often misinterpreted as acid rain.
The only time Rajesh Hamal went wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
When Rajesh dai feels that his computer is running slow, he presses F13.

Guru of all superpowers

One day Rajnikanth, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Bruce lee and Chuck norris visited Rajesh dai's house ... it was an auspicious day of GURU PURNIMA !!!

Some 100 years ago a huge dark cloud was hovering over china and thousands died of lung cancer.... Chinese doctors didn't know that rajesh dai was smoking Shikhar Churot !!!!!

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell RAJESH HAMAL stories.

Shahrukh khan was born in Nepal. He wanted to be a SuperStar. Knowing it would be impossible to top Rajesh dai in kollywood, Sharukh went to bollywood.

Rajesh dai le ek din Christopher Columbus bhanne manchhe lai "Ja yo address ma gayera malai alikati blackberry lyaide" bhanera afno sailing boat dinu bhako, tyo ta janne bhayera America maile patta lagako bhanera hidna thalechha. Anyway, kalle pattyayo ra? Sabailai thaha chha ni yo earth ko sabai kuna kapcha Rajesh dai le patta lageko bhanera... Ki kaso

Rajesh Dai is the only person who can unlike in facebook (without liking first)
. Whereas rest of us have to like things first and only then we can unlike.

राजेश हमालले चिच्याउदा हल भत्किने डरले बिदेशीहरुले राजेश दाईको फिल्म आफ्नो हलमा देखाउने हिम्मत गर्न सक्दैनन्।

More funny facts about Rajesh Hamal

Jesus Christ and Rajesh Hamal can walk on water.
Only Rajesh Hamal can swim through land.
The Mayans predicted that Rajesh Hamal will punch the earth with his irony hand "Falamko Haat" in 2012. Thats why we call now the End of the world.
It was Rajesh Hamal who welcomed Neil Armstrong on the moon in 1969.
Rajesh dai plays table tennis with a cricket bat and a football.
Only Rajesh dai can speak "braille".
Once Rajesh Hamal ordered Colombus to bring him some ripe Blackberries for him. He gave a secret map and a sailing boat to Colombus. We read today on our course books that Colombus discovered America.

Rajesh Hamal Facts

Rajesh Hamal doesn't believe in ghosts. But ghosts do beleive in Rajesh dai.
Aliens are real, they are just afraid of Rajesh Hamal - that's why they never came down to earth.
The tears of Rajesh Hamal can cure cancer. Just a pity, Rajesh Hamal never cries.
Several years ago, moon used to be randomly elleptical. Rajesh dai made is round.
When Rajesh dai plays Chess, elephants are brought from Jawalakhel, camels from S. Arabia, horses from India.
Even Yamraj fears of Rajesh Hamal's irony hand "Falamko Haat".
If Rajesh dai = 1, then 1>2. Nothing can be greater than Rajesh dai.
Only Rajesh Hamal can make onions cry.
Ghosts get frequently haunted by Rajesh Hamal.
Rajesh dai is so cool, even chocolates do not melt in his hand.
Once Rajesh dai played tennis against Federrer and Nadal together, still Rajesh dai won the match just with his left falamko haat.
Whenever Rajesh dai sneezes, it is often misinterpreted as acid rain.
.... (more facts are coming .....)